Getting married

October 27, 2017

Financial talk before marriage

Are you sure that he/she is the one and you are planning to get married? Then it’s time for financial talk.

Are you and your partner planning a wedding? Congratulations! According to financial planner, Mike Rini Sutikno, this means it’s the right time to be open about finances. Why should this be talked about early, even before being married?

Being open about income and financial arrangements can avoid problems in your future family. You and your partner honesty is required in making household budget allocations, including making short and long-term programs. For example, plan to have a baby, support the education of husband or wife, to help families in need.

Money issues are also the main reason for conflict and divorce in relationships. Couples feel comfortable talking about things like children, gender, goals, dreams, or even about their in-laws, but 70% of couples say they are uncomfortable discussing financial matters with their future husband or wife.

You do not need to worry, these problems can be prevented with a little courage to being open to each other at the beginning. Couples who have financial management strategies, such as financial recording or goal setting, tend to be less likely to quarrel. Here are some steps you can follow to start a financial conversation with your future partner.

Finding out and understanding

Do not be in a hurry. Make a date with your partner long before the wedding date, then discuss all the financial issues in your life right now and how to respond to them later when you live together. Be sensitive, understand, be honest with yourself and your partner.

You can start a conversation with basic questions like ...

How much money do you have?

How much debt do you have?

How much money do you make?

And proceed with complicated questions like ...

How is your shopping habits?

According to John Sweeney, Executive Vice President of Fidelity of Retirement and Investing Strategies, most couples have different habits and lifestyles. In terms of expenditure, humans have a negative assertive marriage pattern, or tend to marry someone who has different characteristics. This means that chronic spenders often find couples who are stingy. Before tying up the promise, you can assess how your partner uses his earnings and assess whether this is a problem in your relationship.

What are your expectations in the first year of marriage?

Do you want a luxurious holiday to celebrate your first wedding anniversary? Do you want to work 70 hours a week to be able to donate and give as much as possible? Should we pay off your loan together, or is it your own responsibility?

Nothing is more severe and disappointing in a relationship than a failed hope. Share with your partner about what you expect financially from them and what they should expect financially from you. Conversation about expectations is a difficult thing, because many of us do not know what our own expectations are. This conversation forces you to be honest with yourself and be honest with your partner.

Will you support someone financially outside your home?

If you support someone other than your partner, it's good to tell him before you get married. Communicating your goals and agreeing on this will make it a joint decision and involve both parties. Though it may feels awkward, it's easier than finishing a dispute that occurs later on because your partner has objected to your unilateral decision.

Financially, what do you want to achieve in the next five years? What about 10 more years?

This topic is a bit easier to discuss together, as most people discuss their hopes and dreams with their partners, although they are usually not discussed in realistic numbers—currency units. Encourage your partner to talk about their career and their future in that realistic amount, and how they will achieve their financial goals.

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